We had cable for a while a few years back and I can remember sitting in bed with my husband, having one-sided conversations with the side of his face... you know, because the deodorant commercials or the Nick at Night or whatever else he was watching was so much more important and more valuable than "us" time. No, that's not the way he really felt, but that is definitely the impression I got- and it hurt. More than anything it irritated me because I'm selfish and gosh darnet, if I'm talking, SOMEONE better be making eye contact with me to signify that they are, in fact, listening.
During this time, my kids would also come home from school and zombie out on sponge bob (gag a maggot) or some other lame idea of television rather than playing outside or reading or heaven forbid- doing housework. :) Soooooooooo, we ditched the cable after a "come to Jesus" meeting (that's Christi talk for fight). And since then we've been relatively selective on what we watch and what we allow our kids to watch on DVD.
So then Kyle and I were on a date the other night. We went to see a movie that was recommended to us by several friends (and my dad) as HILARIOUS! And "A MUST SEE!" And then one good friend said "It's inappropriate, but definitely funny." I decided to go against my better judgment and watch this hilarious movie. During the course of the movie, I actually lost count how many time FEMALES were dropping the "F-BOMB" and using profanity like I use water. They were lude, crude, and beyond inappropriate. I still don't know why we stayed through the movie, but we did (maybe because I'm cheap and didn't want to lose the $9.50 I paid to see it?)
During the movie, I kept wondering to myself- what ever happened to ladies being ladies and gentlemen being gentlemen? What ever happened to sex being sacred, not a point of humor? What ever happened to movies being good and entertaining?" We became desensitized. Movies were enough to make us laugh for a time, but then someone in Hollywood who was looking to make more money from more laughs pushed the boundaries a little more. They figured out that a little more shock value and more laughs from the shock are what draws people to the theaters by the millions. I mean, everyone wants to laugh, right? They made certain curse words acceptable and then they were no longer curse words- but, rather, a normal place in everyday conversation. They made sex a point of humor and not a beautiful time shared between a husband and a wife. They took everything good and pure and made it bad- but to the normal person, it's "just funny" not, bad...
I am not going to lie and say I sat there stunned the entire movie. I laughed at things I shouldn't have... and then I blushed. I wrestled with wanting to find enjoyment from this movie and embarrassment for having dragged my husband to this hideous display of what feminism has done to "ladies". And then I got mad. I realized I have become desensitized to so many things. I'm not some goodie-two-shoes. In my own life, I let curse words fly on occasion. It used to be a point of humor for me and then it became a point of ignorance- as if I could honestly think of no better word to say than the "s" word or one of its cousins. I gossip sometimes. I laugh at inappropriate things and make equally inappropriate comments. It's really a struggle for me. But I have to ask myself- what example am I setting for my kids? Just because I don't let them watch or listen to certain things doesn't mean they won't pick it up. They repeat my actions as words as if they were parrots... no, seriously, it's annoying.
Several scriptures come to mind for this issue, but a couple of my favorites:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off EVERYTHING that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles us and run with perseverance the race set before us." Hebrews 12:1-2
and
"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8
God knew we'd struggle with our thought lives. Heck- I feel like I am constantly at war with my brain. I wrestle with trying to focus on the things I should, but then I go and see movies like the one i saw last week. In Hebrews, we are told we should throw off EVERYTHING that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles us... EVERYTHING. Seeing those images, hearing those words, those don't help- they hinder. Allowing my thought life to be perverted by the things that I watch on Internet television or certain movies isn't exactly throwing off the temptations... it's making the temptation so much worse.
Think about it. "Fix your thoughts on what is TRUE, and HONORABLE and RIGHT and PURE and LOVELY and ADMIRABLE... PRAISEWORTHY." I don't know about you... but I didn't feel admirable after watching the movie the other night or other movies like it. I didn't feel honorable and the thoughts I had afterward were anything but pure...
So I'm taking up arms for my family. I'm taking a stand against all of the crap. I am re-sensitizing myself and my family. I hope you'll join me... because frankly my darling, I DO give a daRn.
"Create in me a clean heart, oh Lord, my God... and renew a right spirit within me."
No Longer I,
The real life mom
3 comments:
A mother with the heart of a warrior! Love that. . .
I often read your blog entries that you post on facebook, but have never wanted to respond until I read this one. I'm not a mom (yet!) so please know that as you read it. I don't want to come across as one of those annoying people without kids that thinks they can parent better than actual parents!
The part that struck me, as I was reading, was the part where you mark that friend's house as off-limits. Now again, I'm not a parent, but my immediate thought was that if I were a parent, my response would have been to allow my kid to keep their friend, but help them to better respond when something inappropriate comes up at their house. That way, my kid can keep their friend, while also continuing to be a witness at their house, by NOT singing along with certain songs, or watching certain movies, etc. Together, my kid and I would come up with an answer for when the friend wants to know why my kid isn't allowed to go along with whatever it is that's inappropriate. Sure, that's hard (and maybe even sometimes embarrassing) as a kid, but that is what childhood is for. It teaches us how to respond to life so that by the time we become adults, and are on our own, we have responded to that kind of situation a thousand times and it is easy, and even instinctual. Right now, it's songs, but later it will be drinking, or drugs, or sex that my kid will have to respond to and if she isn't practiced at her response for the little things (songs) then how much harder will it be to respond to the big things?
Isn't this the way we are to be as adult Christians? We are to be friends with, and not ban, non-Christians from our lives. We are to be set apart and able to have a response other than just running away when our non-Christian friends say or do something inappropriate. The verse from Hebrews says to cast of everyTHING not everyONE. This struck a chord with me because it's something I see more and more of from today's Christian society. (Not you - just Christians as a whole) They bubble themselves in until all they're surrounded with are people just like themselves. This is the exact opposite of what Christ did. He went out and deliberately found people to hang out and associate with who were on the fringes of society. When they were engaged in something inappropriate, he set himself apart by not joining them (obviously), and by telling them why he thought it wasn't ok. He did it with love and respect every time. I think that we can teach our Christian kids to do the same thing.
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