Wednesday, May 18, 2011

To The Wives (Part II)- Just Laugh

You know that feeling you get when you can't stop laughing?  It's that moment when something little tickles your heart and for some reason- even insignificant things make you laugh... and no, I don't do drugs. 

Last night Kyle and I both got so tickled about something Jacob was doing.  We laughed and laughed, then we put the kids to bed and laughed some more.  Seemingly meaningless things would set us off and then we would both get the giggles all over again.  I was laughing because he was laughing and he was laughing because I was laughing and this continued for close to three hours until we both finally gave up and went to sleep (yes, I know we're a little dorky, but... who cares?)

The thing I enjoyed most was that we were wrestling and laughing and having fun like we did when we were dating.  I have been missing that.  We used to have towel popping wars and chase each other around trying to "one up" the other with our mad towel popping skills.  But then life got uber serious and caught us off guard.  We stopped playing and starting planning.  We stopped laughing and started  arguing.  Somehow we lost who we once were- the thing that made us so magical in the first place.

So last night, when I got a glimpse of that- of who we once were, I got excited and sentimental at the same time.  Then he (the hottie) says to me: "I've really been missing you."  Wow.  I haven't been gone, but his playmate- the friend- the woman he married- she's been in hiding, only coming out from time to time when life is easy.  Right now, life isn't easy.  It's actually really difficult, but finding time to rediscover each other seemed to make life that much easier- even if it was just for one evening. 

So I woke up in the middle of the night and after getting some water, I sat in bed and watched him sleep (in a non-stalker sort of way).  I was thinking about why I was so attracted to him in the first place.  I remembered the way he used to look at me ( a look that used to make all of my friends jealous).  I remembered how much fun we used to have...  then I committed in my heart to not stop playing.  I want more of what we had yesterday.  I know next year will be difficult while he's working and going to school full time but I think what will help get us through will be the choice to laugh.

Yesterday we handled business and discussed things that needed to be discussed.  We weren't ignoring them- we just weren't focusing on them and letting them steal our joy. 

And to any wives who would ask, I would say- keep playing.  Keep laughing.  Keep trying to make it fun.  (Even when it seems impossible).  Fun doesn't normally just "happen".  Your attitude is your choice, so when you can, choose to laugh a little more, lecture a little less.  You might be surprised at his response...  and you never know- you might just rediscover your long lost best friend. 

As for me, I'm going to keep finding new ways to flirt and to keep life from creeping in and making our marriage stagnant.  Because sometimes, recognizing that thing that first attracted him to you is still so very important and so sometimes, you've just got to laugh. 

So here's to all of the wives, and to making life fun and reinventing the marriage wheel.  And here's to 50 more years of laughter and a love not forgotten.  Proverbs 17:22 "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones"

Dedicated to my grandparents who were married for 50+ glorious years, laughing all the way through...

No Longer I

The Real Life Mom (and wife)


Amanda said...

The picture of your grandparents is so cute! Thanks for the reminder to have more fun in marriage.

Christi said...

Thanks Amanda! I wish that was my grandparents. I don't have a photo of them, but I saw this stock photo and it made me think of them so I used it. :) in real life, my grandparents were amazing! They laughed together, he still smacked her rear when he walked by her, and frequently he would grab her and dpin her around ther kitchen to a tune he hummed.... And THAT'S what I'm going for with the hottie. :)

Carol Jones said...

Some mornings I see my husband drooling and snoring and I think, "Why did I marry him again?" And other mornings I wake up and see my husband drooling and snoring and I think, "He is so precious when he's sleeping. I am so lucky to have him." His actions are the same. My attitude is what makes the difference.

Good word Christi.