Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I Swim Now.
I swim now. I mean I have always been a swimmer, but as part of my workouts I have started swimming a mile every day. I have been super frustrated lately with my oldest son, Timothy. He is autistic, and at times just dealing with him can be a workout in and of itself. The past few weeks his behavior has really been exceptionally tough so my frustration level has risen to the occasion. I have been on an endless ride of discipline and dissappointment with him- even to the point where I wanted to be done. After a long weekend with him I was ready to throw in the towel and check out mentally but I knew I could not. So Monday I went back to the gym, got in the pool and as I was swimming laps I was praying- just talking to God about my frustrations as a mom, my emotions, my feelings. I was searching for an answer. Then it happened. I looked up and saw it. I don't know if you have ever swam in a lap pool, but at the end of each lap is a cross made out of tile. It's a turning point for swimmers who do continual laps and that day it was a turning point for me. I was so frustrated about everything but in that moment when I called out to Him, I remembered that verse Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God." So I stopped at the end of a lap, I looked up and saw a cross, reminding me that He was there. That He cared and that I should not give up hope. I came home and looked up the surrounding verses and this is what I found: "He stops wars everywhere on the earth. He breaks all bows and spears and burns up the chariots with fire. God says, 'Be still and know that I am God.' I will be praised in all the nations; I will be praised throughout the earth. The Lord All-Powerful is with us". After I read that, I felt an empowerment and a peace reminding me that God is a huge and mighty and powerful God. He stops wars everywhere, it says! He can conquer this thing with my Timothy. I just needed to be reminded to be still, and to know that He is God and trust in His power, not in my own. I would encourage you, friend that whatever your battle is, to stop trying to do it on your own. God is so much more powerful that we are. We just have to be still and know that He is God and we are not and trust in His strength rather than our own.