Wednesday, July 16, 2008

All To Jesus...

Well I feel like a mom. Not that I haven't always felt like a mom, but I really feel like a mom now. I prayed after our exhausting vacation that God would renew my heart for my children (with whom I had grown incredibly frustrated) and for my husband (for whom I seemed to have lost all respect). I prayed and prayed and prayed and God changed my heart. I was emotionally done. I was removed from this family that I adore. I felt like I had lost my place and was drowning and couldn't climb out- but God heard my cries and He rescued me. So why all of the frustration? Why all of the emotional mumbo jumbo? My good friend reminded me I had been living in my strength and in my experience when I try to do things in my own strength, I usually end up realizing how much I truly need God. He always allows me to see life from the other side of the coin so that my heart wants to call on Him, to rely on Him, to surrender to Him.

So today when I woke up, I felt like a mom for the first time in a while- the way a mom should feel- in love with her kids, excited for the day ahead, no longer depressed, no longer frustrated, no longer looking for a way out. I had surrendered all of me and what I found there waiting for me was His strength, renewing, refreshing, revitalizing me. So this is what it means to live in His strength. Why did I ever do it any other way?

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