Monday, January 2, 2012

Secrets Of A Housewife... Part I

No, I'm not THAT kind of housewife...  definitely not desperate (even though I've been dangerously close to desperation in the past).  But I do have a few secrets of my own to share.  These are things I've learned in my nearly ten years of marriage.  Yes, I know that some of you seasoned housewives may laugh at my mere ten years, but I should remind you- at least five of those years were Hell on Earth- God had to break me, change me, and mold me (and is still continuing to do so).

THROWING STONES and JUST LAUGH- two posts from the past year about lessons God revealed to me.  And now, secrets of a housewife- part I

Last night The Hottie and I were trying to entertain ourselves while waiting for company to arrive.  We've been so exhausted as of late that we typically sit down at the computer or pull out our phones to let the internet take us away to facebook or Pinterest.  But something got into us last night and we wound up reenacting a scene from Mr. & Mrs. Smith (Brangelina's assassins movie).  No, this was not on purpose, and no- it was not a dirty scene... (I'm not ready to be THAT open with you all, just yet).  It was the scene where they realize they are both professional assassins and they completely destroy this amazing house trying to kill one another.  (I know, I know- the resemblance is astounding... I get that a lot).

But no, in case you were confused, that's not us and no, we weren't trying to kill one another, (nor did we destroy the house).  I saw he and Shepherd playing with a Nerf gun and something in me realized he needed a playmate... and maybe I did, too.  The big kids were asleep, so I loaded up a nearby Nerf gun, (with additional ammo in the pocket, which is essential) and we chased each other around the house shooting and reloading as quickly as we could.

As we played, I watched him go from completely exhausted to completely exuberant in no time at all.  He became excited and joyful- with a childlike glow in his gaze.  I gave him the gift of allowing him to just be himself in that moment and not trying to mold him into someone he is not.  And when all was said and done (and he'd completely killed me with Nerf bullets, or darts, or whatever you call them)  my man was satisfied and no matter what happened  the rest of that evening, he felt loved.

So what I would say I've learned through this is that when it's time to play 1- make sure you have plenty of ammo, of course, and 2- play- all out.  He needs to feel free to be a man- sometimes a young, playful man- and he needs you not just to understand that, but to enjoy that side of him as well.  I've spent far too much time shaming him for pieces of his personality that I didn't like or that I felt he needed to grow out of and God showed me that just as God loves me for who and where I am right now (flaws and all), The Hottie needs to be loved (and enjoyed) completely for who he is- right now, and not who he may one day become.  So, friend, if that love looks like a game of Mr. & Mrs. Smith- I say bring it.  It's definitely okay (and even likely a  good idea) on occasion- to let him win. But don't get crazy, I said on occasion.  ;)  

Happy New Year!

No Longer I,

The Real Life Mom


Desiray said...

I think that is beautiful that you both allowed each other to be yourselves, sometimes couples get so stuffy that they forget to have fun...And by the way I like the movie Mr. Mrs. SMith....I don't all the shooting that goes with it but it's amazing how they never knew that they both was trained to do a task and neither party knew but finally at the end they realized what kept them together, and that is how they defeated the men who assigned both of them to take the other out. Thanks for sharing

Stacy Rogers said...

How fun! You need a camera set up in your house, too!