Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I am NOT a tree.

I'm one of those people who are easily motivated. Not. Kidding. When I was younger, I'd watch a cereal commercial and suddenly be convinced that I NEEDED to go make myself a bowl of cereal... the chocolate kind... or Lucky Charms... or...  I better stop before I decide I need some of that sugary goodness.  Is it sad that I just drooled a little? (ADD...)

Anyway,  I'm not typically a hard sell. I can see an image like this one and think to myself-  "Yep! I'm getting back in the habit now! I AM going to work out and I AM going to follow through with this! THIS TIME I WILL NOT FAIL."  It really doesn't take much- it never has.

Getting motivated has never been my issue (seriously- just typing this while that image is sitting there is making me want to hit the treadmill)- it's the follow through that has really been my downfall. But I saw this quote today, "If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree." ~Jim Rohn. 

 It sounds so simple- silly, even. It's almost too simple, right? Not really... I mean, the last time I checked, I wasn't a tree, so I CAN change, right?  My roots aren't forcing me to stay who I have always been.  There is, in fact, NOTHING holding me here- except me. So why don't I change? I'm filled with every good intention of changing. In fact, good intentions pretty much define me on any given day.  

I have good intentions of following through with that next diet and losing all of my weight. I have good intentions of getting my house cleaned and paying each of my bills or loans on time, every time.  I tell myself every day that I will go to bed early so I can wake up early, spend some really, truly, quiet, alone time with God and then shower, put on some make up so I don't scare the natives, and make a hot breakfast and lunches- All BEFORE the Hottie and kids even start to think about waking up.  (Yes, I am aware these expectations are a little unrealistic.)  And then each day, I have some thing that keeps me up until way too late and the Hottie and kids usually beat me out of bed, helping themselves to whatever cereal or cold breakfast choices can be found in the pantry. Then I am discouraged first thing in the morning and I think to myself "Fail. I guess I'll try again tomorrow."  

And the cycle continues. (Maybe I need therapy?)   :)

Anyway, I have the best intentions of making these amazing new year's resolutions and following through with them- each of them... and I never do (who does?)  I have these amazing intentions that I tell people about- like writing this book and starting this ministry, training to run a half marathon a few years back, becoming a speaker... all of these great dreams and intentions. And yet, here we are at the end of another year and I'm somehow disappointed in myself... again.

And for the record, I must say I sincerely DISLIKE New Year's resolutions. I love the idea of having a clean slate and starting over from scratch. (Don't we all?)  I like the idea of starting new- as if just because I was a screw up the year before, this year will somehow be different.  But why should 2012 be any different than 2011 or 2010 or the 30 years before that?  (Yes, math whiz, I'm 32.)  

I read this earlier today- "Give thanks for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow."  ~Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros  Huh.  She (I think this is a she) has a point.  What I am now is not all bad.  I'm not good at follow through, but I'm gifted in several areas, I'm passionate, and I'm occasionally funny.  I'm good at teaching, good at loving on people, and organized (in my mind, folks... not in my house).  For those parts of me, I am thankful.  I guess I will just keep fighting to become this person that I want so badly to be.  Not that my expectations are completely realistic (another growth area for me) but I know who I want to be and right now, I'd say I have quite a road to travel.  But I'll keep fighting.  I know I can't do it all on my own or in my own strength, but I know I am responsible for making the choice to change and taking the necessary steps to get there.

Within each of us is the capability to become the person God created us to be. He knew we'd all face struggles and He gave us the tools we'd need to overcome those struggles.  Time to tap into those tools and "man up" as the Hottie says.  Time to recognize I am NOT a tree, so I can change it... and I WILL.  I recognize that I'm feeling dangerously inspired at the moment, so I won't write out a long list of resolutions (yet).  Instead, I think I'll go have some cereal while I wrap myself in my new Snuggie and contemplate the new me I'd like to try to become in 2012.  

Still growing...  still learning to let go.  

NO LONGER I (right?),

The Real Life Mom.


Cathy said...

Sigh. Twice. There are tears in my eyes because I think you are me. Or I am you. Or we are just so very much in the same place. And now I want cereal too. Hope you don't mind, but I'm posting a link to this on my blog because this is everything I have wanted to write for the last 2 weeks but haven't had the energy to do it. Love you friend. And I'm glad we are not trees.

Jim and April said...

COming over from Cathys page...amen to what you said, i feel so many of the same things! Thanks for this post!