Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Secrets Of A Housewife... Part III- HEY SMELLY SHELLY

Seriously.  When's the last time you took a bath?  I'm just wondering.  I snuck one in this morning by happenstance, but normally that doesn't happen until AFTER the Hottie comes home (unless I have some important meeting or have a reason to get dressed up).  On that happy note- when is the last time you actually put make up on just for your husband?  Not for a meeting or for company who is coming, but just for him.  I know some of you may be just fine "au natural" but I want you to think back to when you first started dating your husband.

I can remember it like it was yesterday (and it has been ten years).  For our first alone time together (that was not officially a date, but really was a date) I spent well over two hours primping and getting ready to try to impress this man... The Hottie.  I changed my outfit close to 35 times and fixed and re-fixed my hair.  I applied make up, then changed my eye color, then lip color until everything was absolutely perfect.  Even still I was convinced it wasn't quite good enough.  And the man?  He only needed to shower and throw on some clothes (approximately 15 minutes from start to finish) and he was ready.

So when he arrived at my door and I got that grin- you know the one- I knew those 2+ hours were worth it.  And from that moment until we married, I never went to see him without complete make up, a shower, and beautiful hair.  I wanted him to want me- in every way.  I wanted him to be attracted to me and to think I was beautiful because I'd certainly never felt that way before.

But after we married and I'd gained 732641209384 pounds from having children, I got so busy with the kids and housework and diapers and more diapers and... just life.  And suddenly I'd found myself in frump girl mode.  I know you've been there, girl- most of us have at some point.  A friend who recently had a baby described it as losing your identity in your children.  Suddenly you're no longer just Christi... you are someone's mom, taxi, nurse, teacher, maid, chef, etc...  easy to see how you could get lost in that place.  But that doesn't mean you should stay there.

When I went back to work at Chevron after having Jacob (before Shepherd), I'd spend a fair amount of time getting cleaned up and primping.  I wasn't trying to impress anyone, but at work, I got to just be "Christi" again- not mom, or wife, or anything else- just Christi.  And I noticed him "noticing me" more... and I liked it. And then I had Shepherd... and I was lost again.  And the Hottie has been coming home to frump girl every since.

Thankfully I am blessed with the sort of man who won't go looking elsewhere.  Not sure how I got so blessed, but he is a rare gem, indeed.  So should I let that keep me from making an effort?  Should I just continue to let myself go until I'm completely undesirable?  No.  Because then I'm merely the woman he HAS to be with, not the one he WANTS to be with.   And while I'm thinking about it- what kind of message am I sending if I only make an effort when I have a meeting or go to church?  Am I showing him he is valued?  Not so much.

Something attracted him to me.   In the same way I have chosen to be his playmate and appealed to that side of him, I am also choosing in 2012 to put Frump Girl away... for good.  I showered this morning and will fix my hair and apply make up at some point BEFORE he comes home from work. I'll pick up the clutter and throw on something that shows off a little bit of my style- rather than my jammies from the past three days and no bra.  I want him to WANT to come home to me- not to be afraid of what he will see when he walks through the door (seriously...  me + no make up and no shower = SCARY).

I want him to feel excited and to know I'm making this effort for him.  I want him to feel loved and, knowing that it really does require extra effort on my part to accomplish when he's not home, appreciate that today was a day I took a bath.

So here's a challenge to my lady friends- take a bath.  Try to put on a little make up- not like smokey prom eyes or anything... just cover up the sun damage, add some mascara and lip gloss, and remind him of your youthful appeal.  And for the love of Pete, brush your hair (and your teeth- nobody wants to smell that)!  So, you're a size 19349425 and you don't feel sexy.  So what?  I read somewhere that sexy is an attitude.  Work that attitude, girlfriend and remind him why he snatched you up in the first place.  Give him a reason to want to come home a little earlier next time, and remember this- the most important thing you can put on is a smile.  People who smile are 1,000 times more beautiful than people who don't.  So you've gained a few pounds this holiday season... just smile.  Trust me- he won't be looking at your tummy.  ;)

Workin' it...

The Real Life Mom

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