Perspective

I know I'm a little bi-polar in my posting.  One day you see the super-happy-almost-as-if-I-were-on-drugs post and then you have the what-in-the-world-whoa-is-me-whiney-girl post.  I hope you know by now that I am on medication for this.  I'm so kidding.  But I was laughing at myself after I posted yesterday's post about feeling let down by God and being honest about it- because after I posted it, I clicked on the "view blog" link. As I was re-reading the post, I read the post before it where I joyfully described praying big and why it's important to pray until something happens and all of my own posts from the Christi version of Hallmark's "Jesus" collection.

So anyway, as I was laying in bed last night, I was thinking to myself.  First I felt somewhat like an idiot for being so transparent with my emotions on the blog.  But then I really felt silly for not doing that much sooner.  I think sometimes people look at the blog and think I seem to have all of the right answers, or that my life is so "put together", but in reality, I blog what I want you to see.  So where you see me and my life as being super-positive, it's usually only after wrestling with some really tough stuff.

So as I was laying in bed last night, I went through the whole realm of emotions.  I prayed and when I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere with my prayers, I went through the ACTS prayer: Adoration. Confession. Thanksgiving. Supplication.  And then it hit me.  Perspective.

For me, perspective can be the difference between "I have 100 pounds to lose" and "I've lost 14 pounds already!"  Or "My life is so hard right now" and "Wow- life could be so much more difficult... thank you Lord for all you have done for me."  So it started with the adoration... that's when my heart started changing as I verbalized who He is.  Then in the confession, I realized how selfish I had been in not realizing where God had shown up and how He has blessed me.  I then took time to thank Him for all that He has done... which has really been oh so much!  He has blessed me and my precious family so very much.  He has shown us His love and has poured out his blessings in spite of all of our screw ups, in spite of my multiple personalities :) in spite of my selfishness and sin.  He has been there for me- even when I haven't seen or felt Him.  And even though I may not feel Him now, He is here.

I held a VBS at my house last week and one of the key points that I was teaching the kids was that faith is trusting in what you can't see because of what you can see.  Did you get that?  Don't miss it.  My kids know this and have been reciting it to me for weeks now (thankyouverymuch WoodsEdge-Kid zone!)  :)  Faith is trusting in what you can't see because of what you can see.  Wow.  I can see God.  I see Him everywhere- in the trees, in the rain that we ARE going to get today... right?  :)  I see him in my children's smiles and in my precious marriage (THANK YOU LORD!)  I hear Him when my kids laugh and when I feel the wind blow on a hot day.  I see Him in the health of my children and in all of the amazing ways that He has provided for us.

I see Him.  I may be going through some really tough stuff and I may not always feel Him near.  I may have felt like He abandoned us, but that's because I forgot... I lost my perspective.  He is here.  He does love me.  he has not left me.  A token from the Jesus collection "I will never leave you or forsake you."  He promised us that in His word.  So who am I to question that?  Just because I can't feel Him doesn't mean He isn't working.  So I need to choose to have faith- to trust in what I can't see because of what I can see.  :)

Here's to more of us being real and choosing joy as we change our perspective and choose to trust.  Thank you Lord for your promises.

Signing off- No longer I,

The Real Life Mom