Friday, January 11, 2008


So the big day is finally coming! Mr. Jacob Tyler will make his arrival 2 weeks from day at 10:00 in the morning. Assuming all goes well, we should be able to meet the lil guy around 10:30 that morning. I have mixed emotions. I am acutely uncomfortable so physically I am ready for him to come out. But then I have these other emotions- I am scared something might go wrong on the operating table or that there might be something wrong with my lil guy. I know those fears are not from God and are completely unjustified, but they are my fears, none the less. I want to let go of them, to be excited about the up-and-coming day, but for some reason, those deep fears remain embedded in the back of my mind. Perhaps I should just make the choice to ignore them. I should choose to be happy and excited regardless of what my simple mind tells me. I should just trust that God is in control and He knows the outcome and has planned that day. He knows my Jacob, has formed his little body in my womb. He knows the number of hairs that will be on his head and how many days Jacob will be with us. So perhaps instead of worrying about it, I should dedicate the next two weeks to praying about it. To loving my God and thanking Him for this wonderful creation- this little miracle that is about to enter our world. Perhaps I should sing praises when the doubts come in and give God back the victory over my mind. I believe in spiritual warfare. I have no doubt Satan would like nothing better than to steal the joy I should be feeling right now. I will pray against these simple fears and unjust doubts. And above all, i will choose joy- I will choose to give God the opportunity to bring us joy in this situation and I will choose not to let Satan have any part of this wonderful time. I am so glad we have choices like these. I am so blessed to know that my God is in control- even when I feel afraid, or unsure. I take comfort in knowing He is holding us and walking us through these uncertain times. I taught my little girl a verse for when she is afraid to go to bed at night and I think I should quote it even now: "The Lord is my helper, so I will not be afraid."

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