Tuesday, April 26, 2011

To The Couples (Part I)- MOVING MOUNTAINS

There is so much change going on around me right now.  I, personally, know of at least ten couples who are either divorced, or divorcing, or who have recently separated for a time.  (No, not me...  just several close to me).  My heart breaks for these couples.  At the same time, I know of about five couples who are engaged or just recently married.  To these couples, I want to warn them- to show them all of the lessons we went through and learned the hard way.  I want to warn the men about how easy it is to be tempted and to become complacent.  I want to tell the women how easy it is to lose yourself, to lose your place in your marriage and to be overcome by life- to the point of depression or to the point of looking for a way out.  I want to tell them both how the enemy will scheme and get into their heads- each of them a little at a time because His ultimate goal is to ruin those marriages.

I watched my step-sister walk down the aisle last week and I just wanted to scream- WATCH OUT!!!  I have seen so much hurt, such intense pain from friends and family alike who have suffered or are currently suffering through the pain of divorce. I watched my parents end an almost 25 year marriage and saw what it did to each of them... and to me as an eighteen year old child. 

So then why do we marry?  Why do we make the choice to go through all of the costs of the wedding, the legalities of it all?  Why not just live together?  I mean, wouldn't it be easier to break up if it weren't so formal?  Wouldn't it be easier to separate out the assets if his stuff was truly his stuff and her stuff was truly her stuff?

Perhaps.  But here's reality.  We get married.  We combine assets.  We have children and bills and real estate.  The line gets blurred between what's his and what's hers and things become ours.  So what if we allowed ourselves to completely be joined together in a union the way God intended for them to be?   Check out that wording: "the way God intended for them to be".  Huh...  How many of us do you think actually meet that standard?  How many of us do you think honestly live in our marriages as the husbands and wives God intended for us to be?  If we are truly honest with one another, not many of us could say we do. 

But there is hope. 2 Corinthians 12:9 shows us where Paul has been given a thorn to keep him from getting too proud.  No one knows what this thorn is, but Paul says he asked God three different times to remove this thorn.  Here we see God's reply: "My gracious favor is all you need.  My power works best in your weakness."  Wow.  I absolutely, positively love this.  And how applicable this is to marriageWe are human.  We are bound to fail, to let one another down- especially as we try to walk more in our own strength.  But God's grace is all we need.  His power works best in our weakness.  So here's the hope- we don't have to be the perfect husbands and wives.  We just have to be perfectly dependant upon Him. 

What does this look like?  How can we become perfectly dependant?  Rather than pressing in to the mountain itself, we should press in to the One who can move those mountains.  Imagine, if you will, a triangle (yes, I know you've heard this 1,347,360 times, but stay with me).  At the top of the triangle is God and either of the two side points are you and your spouse.  As you seek God personally, and your spouse seeks God, what happens?  The two of you are naturally brought closer and closer together.  As you draw near to God, you are also drawing nearer to one another because He is drawing you closer and closer to one another... the mountain is being moved.  But if you should stop seeking God, and start to seek things that please your selfish nature, you are separating yourself from God and from your spouse.  The equation is simple, really.  I'll say it again- rather than pressing in to the mountain itself, we should press in to the one who can move the mountain.

So there's a mountain between the two of you?  Seek Him.  There's distance there?  Press in to Him.  Wife left you?  Seek Him.  Husband addicted to pornography?  Seek Him.  Facing divorce?  Seek Him.  Spouse not pursuing you ?  Seek Him. 

We, alone, cannot fix these major issues, but He said His power works best in our weakness.  Seek Him.  He is the one who can move these mountains.  So here's to the couples... and the triangles and the mountains that will be moved in His name.

No Longer I,

The Real Life Mom.


Carol Jones said...

Ah marriage. Ain't it grand!

As with anything else, when two become one, it gets a little messy sometimes!

David Tusi said...

This speaks to me so much. For only he knows the plans he has for us.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11