So, my grocery bill just went up, again. The kids are eating like food is going out of style. They aren't gaining any weight, but according to the marks on my pantry wall, they are growing. I noticed as I watched Shepherd eat last week that he seemed more hungry than normal. As I watched him eat, I realized I'd been going through a growth spurt as well. No, I'm not pregnant again. I mean that God has been trying to grow me. Imagine if I never let Shepherd eat more than he did as a newborn. Imagine if the kids were still on bottles and I never increased their food intake to accomodate their nutritional needs as they grew.
That's kind of what it's been like for me, off and on. As God has been trying to grow me, there have been times where I feel convicted by this scripture found in 1 Corinthians 3, The Message: "You're acting like infants in relation to Christ, capable of nothing much more than nursing at the breast. Well, then, I'll nurse you since you don't seem capable of anything more. As long as you grab for what makes you feel good or makes you look important, are you really much different than a babe at the breast, content only when everything's going your way?" Yeah, you can say it- ouch.
God has been trying to teach and grow me, but I have been relying on my own understanding- which is like perpetually drinking formula from a bottle when God has been trying to feed me a steak. In Proverbs 3, we are told "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." Do not depend on your own understanding... do not depend on your own understanding. So I've been creating my own path- no wonder my plans aren't working out! I want a steak. I don't want this formula any longer. I want what God has for me, but have been doing things my way. It's time to grow.
One of the first scriptures I ever memorized: was John 10:10- "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Satan's goal is to defeat us, as Christians. He wants to steal from us, to kill, and to destroy. He figures if he can keep me drinking from a bottle my whole life, I'll never grow into the woman God created me to be. But I have a higher calling. It's time for me to dive into the word- to put on the full armor of God and "stand against the devil’s schemes." .
So, my grocery bill may be growing, and my kids may be getting taller, but I smile because I know this is all a part of an awesome process. I am cleaning out the pantry- getting rid of all of the junk. I will continue to feed them as their little bodies demand and I will seek to set the example by taking in what is necessary for my growth, throwing off any and all distractions.
That being said- pass the steak, please!
No Longer I,
The Real Life Mom.
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