Several thoughts as I sit down to write today- in fact, there will likely be another post on an entirely different subject.
But anyway, I was thinking- each week, I prepare a message, pray over said message and show up on Thursday mornings to teach it. Some weeks, God really blesses me through the message. Those weeks are usually when I can feel Him in the room, sometimes even speaking through me. Other weeks (such as this week) I feel frustrated and alone in the room- like God didn't show up. I feel like I do the work and hope that the message reaches someone, anyone... and then I hear crickets. Nothing.
It's somewhat discouraging. Scratch that. It can be very discouraging.
But.
I know God is working and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am being obedient and I am in my calling.
So every week isn't life-altering and spectacular. So the numbers have dropped. What's in a number if I'm being obedient to the call of Christ? What's in a number if that number is 1 and I am her. If no one showed up for the study, but God still moved in my heart because I was obedient to Him, then I can think of no greater blessing than being fulfilled through obedience.
Now if I can just let go of the people-pleasing, human side of me and really buy what I'm selling here, we'll be all good.
:)
Working on letting go.
No Longer I,
The Real Life Mom
1 comment:
one thing I know from being in ministry for 10 years at various churches all over- numbers ALWAYS drop off. Especially in Nov/Dec. It usually has no relection on you as a leader but rather on God and on the people themselves. Remember it's not your job to bring about heart change- only the Holy Spirit can do that. The Lord is very mysterious about who he uses and when, and it's often never up to us. You are being faithful and that's all that matters. Keep being beautiful!
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