I think there is a common misconception, especially in the area I live in, that being a stay at home mom means not only do you not have an outside job, but your main goal is to become more social. For instance- play groups. Although an ingenius idea, I have noticed moms form the "playgroups" for their children, but really more for social interaction time. This is really a good thing... in moderation. I was having an introspective moment while cleaning a while ago and realized how much time I spend planning activities for "us" to do during the day that really are more for me and I realized that's a pretty selfish thing to do. I am all about planning activities where my children have opportunities to get out and socialize, but I think my issues is that I realized I was spending far too much time planning those activities that we were almost never home and my kids were pretty much babysitting themselves while I, my self, was on my own "playdate" with other moms. It's great because it gives us time to vent, to laugh, to bond. But I think when it becomes the norm or becomes more the rule rather than than the exception, occupying more than half of your time with your children, then there is something missing.
God gave me this awesome time to spend with my kiddos- to laugh with them, to teach them, to love on them, to be a mom. I was so misguided in my way of thinking that I assumed this time at home was more for me. Looking back, I can already see where I have missed so much with them. I have left them to play or to do their own thing and they are practically begging for more of me. So what's the solution? I'm not sure. Now that I am aware of the issue, it makes me want to jump right in to scheduling mommy and kid time- no TVs, no computers, no anything extra needed- just me and my babies- the way God intended it to be. I want to teach them more, I want to sit and just "be" with them more, I want to instill Christ in them, and I especially want to honor God in the way I parent.
A wise friend once said "Be what you want your children to become." So Kyle and I were talking about what we want for our children. We made this really long list and as the list grew, I got more and more uncomfortable because I realized there are several changes that need to be made in my own life. But they are good changes- they are changes that will transform me in to the kind of person I would love for my children to become- the kind of person that strives to honor God in everything they do. So ya, I think that's the answer. I need to change some things in my own life and get out of my own way so God can shine through. He will love my children through me the way they need to be loved. He will make me in to the kind of person I want to model for my children, and He will eventually mold them to be more like Him, less like me. So I think in order for all of that to happen, the social planner needs to hang up her social hats for a while and just "be" with her babies so they have a chance to learn what it really means when mommy stays at home.
1 comment:
Those are some good thoughts. I love to hear what God is teaching you. Thanks for sharing.
Amy B
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