Once upon a time there was this really hot girl. Then she had 87 children and gained 1,000,000 pounds. Okay, perhaps there is a bit of exaggeration in the previous statements... I wouldn't say she was reeeeeally hot, but her hot husband would. And maybe she didn't have 87 children, but in an eight year span, she had four children and gained 120+ pounds. Yes, 120 pounds on top of the original body weight... ouch.
Clearly this mystery woman I speak of is myself. While I recognize that there is now more of me to love, my youngest child is now seven months old and I am looking back to nine years ago when I started dating my husband. I had just lost about 40 pounds and was working out regularly, eating right and the best part? Where the balloon currently resides in my midsection, there was a strong core. Over the course of the first pregnancy, I learned terrible eating habits that stayed with me. Before my first pregnancy I had finally broken that cycle and was on track to being healthy. But, alas! My terrible eating habits have come back in spades and I am now in an unhealthy, vicious cycle that will eventually kill me if I don't make some drastic changes.
They say the first step is admitting you have a problem. So here it is: My name is Christi Muhle and I struggle with gluttony. Not just over-eating on occasion, but gluttony- defined as "the practice of eating to excess" or "an extreme lack in self discipline."
During a fasting season God revealed to me this sin in my life. He gave me this scripture from 1 Peter 1:13-16:
So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. 14 So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. 15 But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. 16 For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”
I believe He has called me to a time of holiness- a time of dependence on Him. I believe God wants to deliver me from bondage to this sin, but it's going to be a journey. I know it won't happen over night,and if I didn't see God's glory on the other side of this thing, I would feel bad about it. Instead, I am trusting in Him, walking in the promises and truth that He has already won the battle. I am more excited about it than anything so I am walking in his victory instead of in my shame. So here you have it- the official beginning of my journey. Walk with me and see what God does. Walk with me and one day we will be able to look back on this post and finally say, "No longer I."
5 comments:
I'm so proud of you! You can totally do it! I struggle with discipline and self-control as well. It's so hard! Thinking about you!
Christi! Thanks for this post. I struggle with the same problem. I have about forty pounds that I have managed to keep from multiple pregnancies. Just letting you know, you have sojourners rooting for you.
Christi- you are one of the strongest women I know. You've always had the biggest heart, always the one I went to with problems and the one person that would constantly remind me to trust God. As you know the past 2 years have been the hardest I have ever been through. During that time I had a major breakdown was completely mad at God for giving me such a horrible disease. Then it was like all of the sudden I saw things differently. I looked at all the good things I had and how lupus has changed my life. Point is and you know this God will let you go through trials and tribulations so that you (we) stop trying to do it on out own and depend on Him. As soon as I realized that and prayed and studied and went to church, things slowly started getting better. I have a great supportive man, super family and friends, healthy kids, my lupus is in remission and my hair has grown back! No more chemo!!! Now the only hard part is still trust in Him when times are good!! It's easy to run to him in bad times is easy but to be faithful to Him during the good times is true faith!
linking arms with you, so many more will too as a result of your humility...God's army is mighty!!! Beware of His amazing victory!
Thank you guys so much. :) What a blessing to have such encouraging friends. I love you guys! praying for each of you by name.
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