Sex, Lies, and... (Part II of ???)

Most times, writing a post takes a total of 30(ish) minutes.


This post has now taken a total of six days. 

****Important side note:  This post is written to my fellow believers in Christ.****

So we're talking about the highly acclaimed  "50 Shades of Grey"book series and the wildly popular movie, Magic Mike.  


I don't think you need me to tell you that watching the aforementioned movie or reading the book is "wrong".  In fact, I'm fairly certain that, if you read the book series or bought a ticket to watch the movie, at some point you considered the thought yourself long before any of us mom-bloggers ever took to our keyboards to slap you on the wrist.  There's this thing inside of each of us (believers), placed there by God Himself, that tells us when we are getting a little too close to the fire- a little too close to the sin we're toying with.  It's the same thing that keeps us from having affairs, from stealing, from killing and acting on every impulse or temptation we experience.  It's not simply the knowledge of wrong and right or the threat of punishment- it's the Holy Spirit.  


But it's just a movie, you might say.  It's just a book!  What's the big deal?!?


Well, for starters:

"Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.  Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?  But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.   Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you." James 4.

(had to look this one up)

en·mi·ty/ˈenmitē/

Noun:

The state or feeling of being actively opposed or hostile to someone or something

I know.  That sounded all "Super-Christian" and maybe even a little harsh for first thing in the morning.  But keep reading.  It gets better.  I originally avoided adding this scripture in because it's not really a "sweet" scripture.  It's not all "love" and sweet and cuddly. It's convicting and it cuts straight to the bone, straight to the core of some of our issues.  It reminds us that God is a jealous God and he is telling us that we cannot make choices like reading "mommy porn" and continue to consider ourselves "friends" of God.  We cannot continue to try to be friends with the world and call ourselves Christians.  I heard once that the word Christian means "little Christ" or "like Christ".  I'm pretty sure that when we make choices like we've been making, we aren't "like Christ" at all... and then we go to church on Sunday and raise our hands in praise, as if nothing has changed- when right next to our Bibles on our nightstand, sits our very own copy of 50 Shades of Grey.  


We are "double-minded" and He's calling us to cleanse our hands and purify our hearts.  

"And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.  Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."  Romans 12:1-2

And I think... well, if this is the case, isn't my mind a part of my body?  When I think about ALL He has done for me, I think, is putting these things into  my mind going to produce the results mentioned in the verses above?  Will my mind become a living and holy sacrifice?


Not so much.

And while we're still on the verses, let's talk about copying the behaviors and customs of this world.  Some translations call this "conforming to the world".  I've spent so much time conforming to the world, trying to fit in and be "cool" that I know I've missed out on some opportunities God has for me- and I've set no example for non-believers.  I've spent so much time blending in that I almost forgot I was designed to stand out. I'm not sure about you, sister, but I desperately want to be transformed into a new person.  I've been ignorant, selfish, prideful, arrogant... and the entire list would occupy this entire page, so I'll spare you.  But I need Him to transform me.  On my own, I can never become the woman He created me to be.  On my own, I can never accomplish His will.  On my own, I'm just... on my own.  

But that's not all.  Reading on, we see: 

" For we don’t live for ourselves or die for ourselves.  If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.  Christ died and rose again for this very purpose—to be Lord both of the living and of the dead."  Romans 14:7-9

LORD: (noun) a person who has authority, control, or power over others; a master, chief, or ruler.


He died and rose again to be our Lord- not to be "that guy" we talk about at church on Sundays, or the reason we bow our heads at the dinner table.  He wanted to be our Lord... even at the movies or when we're reading in our spare time.  


But do we want Him to be our Lord?  


I think this is a question we all need to consider.  I mean, I was okay living life on my own- getting by, making my own way.  I had my "fire insurance" (that's when you're 12, and at youth camp the speaker tells you to turn or burn, so you turn because you don't want to burn).  But I heard this the other day and it made me think- life insurance isn't for life, is it?  Life insurance is preparation for when you die.  So to have "life insurance" in the form of salvation is simply protection- like a "GET OUT OF HELL FREE" card.  


But that's not why we're here, is it? 


And if it is, in the mean time.... we should....???  


If we were meant to live, have a good time, and die, wouldn't life be so much easier if we could just do what feels right in the moment?  What ever happened to do first, ask forgiveness later?


"A thief comes to steal and kill and destroy, but I came to give life—life in all its fullness." John 10:10


Life.  In all of its fullness.  Not preparation for when you die, but life.  In all of its fullness.  And I thought- so maybe we're meant to experience a different kind of life.  Maybe this whole "Christian" title isn't just our means of insurance or a way we can feel better about ourselves after a week of doing our own thing.  Maybe it's a way that we can live- really, really live.  

But just before that, it says the thief comes to do what?  To STEAL.  To KILL.  To DESTROY.  The thief (that's Bible talk for the Devil, the enemy, Satan) has one mission- to steal, kill, and destroy.  And you know how he will accomplish this plan?  One person, one thought at a time.  He has waged an all out war against our minds and has determined that if he can distract us a little with these thoughts, then little by little, he will whittle our defenses.  

I've watched marriages crumble and fall because of addictions to pornography, affairs, selfishness- all of which start with just one look, just one thought, just one time.   And based on the recent numbers of women who are flocking to theaters by the MILLIONS and downloading copies of these books by the tens of millions, I have a feeling a new epidemic is on the rise.  Once we begin to make allowances for these thoughts in our minds (and in the minds of our brothers and sisters in Christ), we give the Devil a foothold.  And once our defenses are completely destroyed, we lose our focus.  Then we become "comfortable".  


Comfortable.  I cannot remember one scene in Braveheart when the warriors survived by lounging on the couch with their Snuggies and a cup of coffee... comfortable.


No.  Braveheart was a warrior who was always in the state of mind, a state of readiness- remembering the ongoing war.  

"A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.  For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.  In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.  Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere." Ephesians 6:10-18

This isn't a matter of a book or a movie.  This isn't a matter of you and me.  This is a matter of life and death- it's something most people don't even talk about in church, let alone outside of church.  


It's war- like nothing we've ever seen.  


And the weapons... fiery arrows.  Sometimes they come in the form of self condemnation.  "I'm not a good wife.  I'm not a good mom.  I'm not thin enough.  I'm not smart enough.  I'm not attractive enough." Sometimes they come in the form of anger or pride "I can handle this.  It's just one time.  Why should I change?  I'm fine the way I am.  I don't need help."  Sometimes they come in the form of discontent or depression.  "I don't have enough... I don't have any reason to live.  I can't get out of bed today."  They usually come in a voice that sounds like your own and they are almost never obvious- to the naked eye.

And do you see that?  They always sound like rational thoughts.  They aren't crazy.  They seem like things you might say or think to yourself.


But to the eye of the one who made us- the one who gave us the Holy Spirit, they are obvious.  That's why we are called to put on the full armor of God.  Not like we were taught in Sunday School, but really, truly, prepare ourselves, body, mind, and spirit so we can "stand firm against all the strategies of the devil."  


Friends, He has called us to live lives that honor Him.  We read it in Romans14:7-9

" For we don’t live for ourselves or die for ourselves.  If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.  Christ died and rose again for this very purpose—to be Lord both of the living and of the dead."  Romans 14:7-9

I don't know about you, but I want to live this way:  to honor the Lord.  


Just a thought.


More on the subject tomorrow... or six days from now.   Before I go for today, I'll leave you with this.

"So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.  The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.  But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.  When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.  But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.  Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.  Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another."

No Longer I,


The Real Life Mom. 

Sex, Lies, and... (PART I of II)

Nah- no videotape (for those of you who are not old enough to get the reference, you might want to stop reading here).  

So what's this post all about?  Sex, right?  Perhaps.

I'm really writing to address the wildly popular book series called "50 Shades of Grey" and the newest (and most highly anticipated and praised) movie Magic Mike.   

No, I'm not a pastor, not a judge, not a Bible-beater or a fire-and-brimstone teacher, and not claiming to know everything there is to know about what the Bible says on the topic, but none-the-less, I feel compelled to share these thoughts with you, so here goes.  

No, I'm not writing about sex before marriage.  

No, it's not a list of dos and don'ts or a slap on the wrist for all of the fans of the aforementioned book and/ or the movie.

I want to share this blog with you.  CLICK HERE   This is the blog of a lady (whom I've never met or heard of before last night) who shared very similar opinions to those that are rolling around inside of my brain.  She penned several thoughts that I echo, and I applaud both her raw honesty and her boldness to come forward knowing she'd be in the minority.  Her name is Melissa Jenna.  Please take a moment to check out what she's written and then come back to read my response.

You might be surprised.

If you've never read this post (CLICK HERE) from last year, you might also want to take a look.

See you in a few!

Rollin' With My Homies

Thoughts after riding in the car with the kids this first month of summer (without the use of the TV or personal electronics... on purpose) and living to tell the tale.

1- From my competitive perspective, I've seriously considered opening a retail store along I-45 or a restaurant that has words beginning with the letters Q, Z, J, and F....  seriously.  Have you ever TRIED to play the alphabet game where you have to find a noun OUTSIDE of the car that starts with a letter of the alphabet???

2- And while we're on the subject, does Texas not use the letter I on their license plates?

3- I actually enjoy riding in the car with 5 kids and a husband- and it's actually possible to get from one place to another WITHOUT the use of the TV or personal electronics for entertainment.  Who would have thought?

4- My kids seem to feel more valued, more loved, and oddly, more connected as they've been forced to interact and work through their problems rather than our norm: "Stop hitting your sister!"  or  "Everybody sit down and put a bubble in your mouth!" and  "Watch the movie and be quiet!" and lastly  "Mom and dad need some peace and quiet for once!  Don't talk.  Just sit there."  Yeah... that happened... way more frequently than I'd like to admit- even some this summer when I thought I needed to make a phone call.

And it's not that we don't interact with them or want to listen to them, but at the end of a long work day (for both of us) when we get in to the car, the last thing we want is tons of screaming and fighting.   But come a little closer and I'll share a little secret I learned- when we play with them and save our grown up quiet time until later, they feel so very, very loved and in turn, they are naturally more pleasant, quieter, more respectful.  It's like a magic happy pill when we make those little deposits into their love tanks.  Who knew?

5-  In the car time doesn't need to be mommy's phone time.  That used to be when I'd catch up with all of my friends and family... and then I saw the rear view mirror and realized I wanted to catch up with this little crew- my homies.

Shoelace.  It's what's for dinner.

So in the mean time, I've alienated some of my friends- not on purpose, but because I realized all of the time I was looking for fulfillment from others and trying to make my own place in the ministry, my main ministry was right in front of me all along.

6-  I also learned that my kids are wildly creative- even inside of the car.

7-  It's okay to have a little down time every once in a while and not be "on".  Sometimes they need to stare out the window and think instead of going in to the twilight zone in their little minds while watching movies (not a slam to those who use movies in the car- just a new way of thinking for this mom who's been using them in the car for years).

8-  Books are a great alternative to videos and portable electronics.  And they are great conversation starters.

9-  Bean salad for dinner is not wise when you intend to spend tons of time in the car the next day... with five children.  Just sayin'.  Thank you Lord for automatic windows.  

10- Not sure how or why, but the car is actually cleaner?   Whaaaaaat?

11- One or more of my children maaaaaaay be tone deaf.

12- Muhles do not nap in the car... unless they are sick.

13- Turns out they don't need to be entertained all of the time.  Good to know...

and finally...

14- Moderation is the key for all future use of the TV in the car.  I think it's okay to drive to the store and back without using it. When I was growing up, we didn't have movies at the push of a button.  I'm sure other people did, but my parents were either wise or cheap so I was forced to use my imagination... or sleep.

That being said, there were a couple of days when we had to get out and about and I had a migraine.  The kids asked if they could watch a movie as we'd be in the car for a while.  I agreed.  It didn't zap all of their creativity or suck the life out of them.  It wasn't horrible.  It's not my preference anymore, but it's also a fun treat for them- on occasion.

So while I'm rollin' with my homies, I think we've found a new norm that includes talking WITH them, playing WITH them, LISTENING to them... kids' beano, and so much more!

Crazy how things can change in just one month.

Unplugging for the afternoon.

The Real Life Mom.

What's In A Name?

I started this blog several years ago as a way to honor God by encouraging others and hopefully pointing them to Christ.  Over time, the focus of the blog changed from honoring God to gaining acceptance and popularity.  I wanted to be liked.  I wanted to be considered "wise".  I wanted people to think I was funny and ultimately, my motivation in writing changed from honoring God to honoring myself by gaining practice writing and earning recognition so that maybe one day I could become a published author/speaker.

Seriously- because, you know, all bloggers become published writers, don't they?

So, I got lost along the way.  I started writing posts to glorify myself, or to draw attention to myself and I lost my true and original focus- to honor God.

Through a series of events, it has come to my attention that the nickname I call my husband has played a major role in drawing the focus of the blog away from honoring God.

When Hurricane Ike hit Houston, my husband and I were at the lowest point our marriage had ever seen.  It was after I had decided I could no longer handle being married to him that my mentor challenged me.  She said: "If you can only think of one thing that you like about him, say it out loud in some way each day.  Over time, your list  will grow and your heart will change."  It was kind of a "fake-it-til-you-make-it" type of challenge.  I felt only disdain for him during this time, but I never stopped being attracted to him, so I thought if I had to start anywhere, I'd start there.

So I started calling Kyle (My Husband) "The Hottie" as a last resort to work on my marriage.  I wasn't ever trying to brag about his looks.  In fact, I thought maybe if I kept saying it, that it would stick and he would finally see what I saw- and it did, and although he's not arrogant, I think he finally sees past the 20 years that he felt completely unlovely and the first 4-5 years of our marriage that I spent tearing him down.

And then a strange thing happened in my heart.  I started looking at him in a different light.  After I had been calling him this for a while, he began to take ownership of the name.  He walked taller.  He was definitely more confident, and there was this strange thing inside of me that I hadn't ever experienced before.  You see, when we first married, we were in lust (as are many young marrieds).  But after I spent time and effort building up and encouraging my husband, I realized God was using those words to meet a need He had placed inside of Kyle .  Then Kyle was more aware of and started meeting my needs and over time we fell deeply in love.  I'm not talking about roses and candy-type love.  I'm talking about learning to speak each other's love languages and loving each other with the love of Christ.

And so I continued to call him that because you  know... a little salt is good, so why not use the whole bottle?  Right?  (Christi-logic, folks...)

Anyway, 4.5 years after I started this journey, I can definitely see that both my husband and I have changed in a beautiful way.  But within the past week, it has been brought to my attention- several times in various ways- that continuing to publicly acknowledge him with that nickname doesn't honor God, or my husband.  In fact, continuing to call him that was offending some (something I definitely never intended and humbly apologize for), and may have  had other negative effects on others.

Either way, now that this has been brought to light, I wanted to say:

1.- Thank you to those of you who took the time to comment on the summer blog to help me see what I was previously unable to see on my own.  I'd respond one on one, but the blog system only shows me anonymous, so I am posting publicly in the hopes that the large group of you who sent me your thoughts will know that I received them and appreciated the honesty and the enlightenment.  


2.  I sincerely apologize for continuing in a behavior that was offensive, degrading, or dishonoring to God, to my husband, or to any of you readers.  Like I said- my intent was to honor God by encouraging others, and I can see how focusing on my self and my selfish need for approval, attention, and achievement completely had the opposite effect.

They say sometimes ignorance is bliss, but I say when ignorance makes you look like a fool, ignorance is not so bliss.  I guess that's why they call life a journey- because you have to take steps towards your destination, leaving behind what was and moving towards what is to come.  

Moving forward...

Again, thank you all for being so open and so honest with your thoughts and opinions. In an effort to honor God and honor my husband, I'll make sure that I abstain from using the aforementioned nickname... outside of our home.   :)

***Also, because of the blogger restrictions, I am unable to see where comments originate, but if I ever write something that crosses a line, offends or upsets you, or causes you to question where my motives lie, please feel free to e-mail me.  I can be reached at: christileigh@rocketmail.com and would love to discuss any questions, concerns, or issues you may have with anything I have written here.  I try to be teachable and am always open to constructive feedback, opinions, and thoughts.  


As always, thank you for reading!

May God and God alone be glorified in this place.

No longer I,

The Real Life Mom

Focus

"I lift my eyes to you, O God, enthroned in heaven.  We keep looking to the Lord our God for his mercy, just as servants keep their eyes on their master, as a slave girl watches her mistress for the slightest signal."

Psalm 123: 1-2

This is one of those scriptures that kind of hits you in the face like ice cold water on a hot summer day.

I mean, here I have been, trying to get my head on straight after nearly ten years of marriage, five kids, and 18 months of school for my husband.  I've been walking along, calling on God when things get tough... or sometimes when I feel lonely...  and then I see this: "as a slave girl watches her mistress for the slightest signal."

Do you see that?

"for the slightest signal"

That's pretty intense- especially for someone with ADD.

I don't think I've ever focused on anything that hard- especially not on God.  It's not that I don't want to- it's that there are so many distractions, so many "things" that are all pulling for my attention and often I allow my focus to drift from one thing to another.   

But Hebrews 12:1-2 in The Message says:

"Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!"

Don't you just love The Message?   I know I thought of about 20 different teaching topics when I read this, but that's another blog.  Another time.


Keeping it simple for a change.  Leaving this one for you to think on...


No Longer I,


The Real Life Mom.

Our Summer... So Far

Where did JUNE go????  It flew by so quickly that I feel a little bit of emotional whip lash.  


But, as promised, I'm posting about our summer...  but not to say look at us!  We are the perfect family.  More to say, hey- we're learning a lot about what it means to be a family and to enjoy each other instead of depending constantly on others or "things" for our entertainment- lessons that are new to ALL of us.  The photos below are only about 10% of the photos taken so far... this month.  :)  I'll post more as I upload them.  I'd like to share them all with you, (like our week at family VBS and opportunities to trust God, new friendships, etc) but I'll spare you and only post a few.

The truth is- we've had an amazing amount of fun, BUT...  we've also had our share of prideful moments.  We've fought.  We've whined and complained... all of us.  We've made mistakes.  We've learned a great deal as a family and have grown tremendously.  And honestly, during the times that I would typically sit down to write a blog post, I've been busy focusing on what needed to be addressed (like pre-teen drama and arguments with the Hottie) and didn't have the time to blog.

But for now, all of the drama has been put to bed, relationships have been restored, and The Hottie is snoring blissfully next to me.

So I'm posting.

But rather than tell you about our summer, I thought I'd show you...  We may not have it all down, but one thing we know is fun.  Another thing we know is CRA-ZY!  So, in a completely random order (thanks a lot computer), our summer (or at least, parts of it, thus far).

The last day of school- the first night of fun!

That one moment...
When they were still.

The last day of school was also
Timmy's last night as a 7 year old!

This is Timmy's morning
birthday/ donut cake.  :)
 8 really is gre 

And then there was that
special deser

Daddy's boy

Having fun with daddy!

They were trying to be spies...

It's called IMAGINATION.  :)
dress up fun with Shepherd.

Girls' night in!

Part of our unit on manners...

Insane in the membrane...

My boys being boys.  :)

More of my boys.

Mom/ Timmy time!

Daddy time.  :)

The theme of our summer- unplugged.

They cleaned.  together.
With a happy attitude!  :)

They actually enjoyed this day!

Sisters being sisters.

More of Shepherd's manners...

Shepherd sliding by himself! :)  Big boy!

Insanity- pretty sure it runs in our family.

The storm rolling in.

The storm about to hit.

After this, we left...  

The most amazing storm I've ever seen.

The calm after the storm.
The Heavens declare your glory, Oh God!

After the storm, we had no power,
so of course they decided to play
Superhero baseball!

Superheroes playing in the rain...
with the ultimate superhero
A fireman!

And this is pretty much where we are now...  just enjoying our time together.  Growing.  Learning.  Playing.  Using our imaginations.  While I'm sad to see June end, I'm excited to see what July holds for the Muhles!  Thanks for reading!  Stay tuned for more!

No longer I,

The Real Life Mom.

SUMMER!!!!! Unplugged, and DIRTY.

So, it's the last day of school.

I'm pretty much the most excited mom in the world.  No, we aren't planning any trips to Disney or to Florida- although, I wouldn't cry if that happened.  We aren't planning anything extravagant- as far as vacations go.  I'm pretty sure we will be lucky to get away for one weekend.

Never the less, I'm FIRED UP!!!

Before last summer, I was depressed- Not like "Oh, *sigh* I feel sad."  But more like severe postpartum depression-  like on meds to keep me functioning, and completely plugged in to the world wide web to keep me feeling validated and encouraged.  I was that mom who wanted her kids home so they could help with the housework and the little kids while I played on the internet.  Yes, I know how that sounds, but it's the truth and I think people need to know the real me- not just the parts I wanted you all to see.  Plus, I have a feeling I'm not the only mom who ever wrestled with this.  I would either sit on my computer, surfing the web, playing on Facebook, or e-mailing- OR I would sit on my phone and text- always looking for that outside "thing" to fill me up, to validate me, to give me purpose.  And if we're being reeeeeeeeeeally honest, I'll admit that I spent a ton of time blogging to help me feel important and wise.

Yes, I know how that all sounds.  There was probably some respect lost there, but stay with me.

Over the past several months, God has taken off those shackles and words cannot fully express the change that has taken place in my heart, in my mind, in my life, except to say I'M FREE!  I'm free to be the wife, the mom, the woman I was created to be and I couldn't be more excited (unless, of course, I woke up tomorrow 50 pounds lighter with rock hard abs and a Swagger Wagon in the driveway).  But back to reality....

So my typical default for the summer is: Morning- chores.  Noon- kids' nap.  Afternoon- pool.  And that's about the awesome extent of everything we do for the summer.  Try not to be jealous...  But this year, I've made a plan and am determined to make memories with our family that will last a lifetime.

It all started last fall when The Lord began moving in my heart, stirring me to unplug- to break free from the Facebook, Pinterest, internet addictions.  I felt like he was showing me my most important ministry (my precious family) was right in front of me and I was missing it because I was so completely focused on self.  So the first step was to cut back the time spent on Pinterest.  In fact, I decided I would use the site for locating recipes or creative ideas that would help for special projects, but I limited my time to 15 minutes for each visit and i was only allowed 2 visits per week.  Then I realized I didn't want to go to the site at all.

Next, I cut way back on texting.  I learned (the hard way, of course) that I hurt people (friends and family) when I text or check my phone every two minutes while with them.  I learned that when I do that, I send a message that they are not as important as Facebook on my phone or the person I am texting- and that's not my heart at all.  So I set new rules and boundaries: when my children are awake and need my full focus, the ringer is off or down and unless it's an emergency or the Hottie, I don't respond until I have time.  For a couple of years I was sending a message to my sweet husband that he was pretty far down on my list of importance and over time he actually adopted that lie as truth.

So then my husband and I began working together to set healthy patterns for our family.  We began routines that included reading together, praying together regularly, and one major rule- WHEN IT'S FAMILY TIME, WE REMAIN UNPLUGGED!  Imagine that!  A family with no electronic devices during family time!?!?  You mean we don't need the TV or the Wii to keep us entertained???  Nope!  We recreated our identity as a family and guess what?  We discovered that we actually like each other.

So how did it all happen?

At the beginning of Spring Break, I was looking for some ideas to make Spring Break fun- that's when I stumbled across this: (Click here to read my friend Julie's blog- the blog that inspired me to tap in to my creative side as a mom).  I loved the enthusiasm of Julie and her husband and I loved that they were making memories their kids would cherish forever.  So I called Julie and asked for help coming up with some inexpensive ideas to help me accomplish some memory-making fun in my own home during Spring Break.  She gave me a few amazing ideas such as this one:

HANDS FREE CHILI DOG NIGHT- BEFORE

& HANDS FREE CHILI DOG NIGHT, AFTER.

The kids loved every minute of the experience and have started a new tradition (that my heart loves, but my OCD wrestles against) of eating a messy meal with no hands.  *breathe, mom*  We also had a cup-stacking competition, a night out at the movies, a camp out in the game room, a scavenger hunt in the grocery store- while dressed in our jammies, and the creative train of thought just kept going, and going, and going... until finally the Muhles challenged the Brietzke family to a night that my family and I will certainly never forget- MUD WARS.

That's right, folks.  If you can imagine it, we did it.  (CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO JULIE MADE.)

And after all was said and done, I was re-inspired.  I was reminded why I'm here- not just to have fun and to make memories.  Not to make a name for myself or for my family.  I'm here as a servant of the most high God and right now, I have been given a task- to raise these precious angels to the best of my God-given ability; to help them become the men and women he created them to be.  I don't need to look around for the next best thing, or make opportunities for myself.  I don't need to look for validation by accepting every single volunteer position that is available.  No- I need to recognize that (in the words of Beth Moore) "Every opportunity to serve God is not FROM God." And I need to start focusing on the opportunities that are from God and are right in front of me- opportunities that I took for granted for way too long- like my amazing family.

So what does this look like?  How do you make t hat change?

Step I- Unplug.  Refocus.  Renew your mind.  If you need to spend time confessing pride or selfishness, or insecurities, do it!   It can only set you free!  And ask God to help you rediscover (or discover for the first time) your passion for your God-given role as a mom, dad, grandparent, husband, wife, aunt, uncle...

Step II- Get excited folks!  SUMMER IS HERE!!!  It doesn't matter if you've always been the person who dreads summer with their kids.  It doesn't matter if you don't feel adequate as a mom, a dad, a grandparent. Those are all lies from the devil who wants to keep you from becoming the person God created you to be so that he can keep you from experiencing the fullness that the truth of God has to offer.  "And you shall KNOW (not just hear, but really, fully KNOW) the truth and the truth shall set you free."  You have a chance to start over, just like we did and make this summer like nothing you or your family has ever experienced!

My challenge to anyone who might be reading this is to take that first step.  To turn off your phone, your Wii, your iPad.  Step away from the computer, the television, and everything that distracts you and have fun discovering your unique identity as a family.

I'll continue to share some tips from our summer fun, but remember- our family is not like your family.  Find what works for YOUR family and do it!  And whatever you do- if you see us out at HEB or Market Street in our jammies, don't judge.  I may or may not have done laundry for the day, but in all likelihood, we're just Muhles, being Muhles... and making memories.

No longer lame.

No longer plugged in.

No longer self absorbed.

No longer I,
The Real Life Mom.